Previously on Zombie Phone…

Image of the face of a zombie

Zombie or is it more politically correct say Undead?

Our hero (me) returns home semi-triumphantly after having my iPhone reset and cleansed of the dreaded Zombie Phone Effect – known in Apple speak as the black screen. All I need to do now to bring my iPhone to its former glory is to restore all the data from the backup on my computer. I was warned, however, that the undead Zombie Effect might still live. I was given no charmer spell to ward it off.

I invoked the mystical YouTube and was channeled to the alleged safety of cloud storage. I’ve always resisted cloud storage because I like to keep my data close to the vest. The control freak in me wants my data where I can touch it and manage it.

I give in and put my data in Apple’s iCloud. When I return to the Apple Store the next day I’ll be able to restore via wireless. There are a few gotchas with Apple’s iCloud, but better that than the Zombie Phone.

Back in the Genius Bar, I’m told that my screen is dead and that I’m gonna have to get a new phone. Apple will replace the one I have, or upgrade me to the iPhone 5S at a great price, if I’m eligible for the upgrade from my carrier.

I call the Death Star (also known as AT&T) and the nice lady on the phone said that I’m eligible for an upgrade because my contract is up in less than 30 days. All I have to do is pick up the new phone at the nearest AT&T store. It’s only a couple blocks away, but the store has a slightly different policy than the online support. My contract is up on September 21. It’s August 29, clearly less than 30 days. The store policy, However, states that the 30 days must be within the image of AT&T logosame month, meaning I have to wait until September 1. What happens in February?

Jedi Kevin, the manager, uses the Force to get me the new phone at the reduced price and adjusts my family plan which cuts my monthly bill substantially. “May the Force Be with Him.”

Then it’s back to the Apple Store. Because it was less frenetic than the day before, my appointment was moved up by nearly an hour. The technician configured the new phone and then we restored from my iCloud backup. Zombie Attack! It must’ve been something in my face because he paled and said, “Please wait, I’ll be right back!” He returned with a squad of his blue shirted fellows. They muttered incantations and laid hands on the phone. Nothing they did vanquished the demon black screen.

Image of apples

Apples accessibility logo

Suddenly, the beautiful Princess of Accessibility arrived. She took one look at the phone, tapped the screen three times with three fingers. Magically, the screen lit. “There is a feature , for the blind , that lets you turn off the screen and save battery life”, she proclaimed.

Two days at the Apple Store, the tug-of-war with AT&T purchasing a phone I didn’t need all because no one except the Accessibility Princess had a clue about the problem.